i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
