Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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