Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Randomize
