i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
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