i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
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