hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize
