Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
I think my fart just growled at me.
You smell like stripper and shame
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
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