You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
