Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
