How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Randomize
