I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize