You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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