We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
