I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
