Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
