you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
