just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Never underestimate the power of titties
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