i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize