This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Also, beer. Big fan.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
