The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Randomize
