Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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