I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
