i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
