STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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