is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
