I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
How does it feel to date your dad?
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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