i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
try to milk me bitch
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