Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Randomize
