When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
