nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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