I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Come share oat with me in your robe
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
I think I just sharted jello shots
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
