The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
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