I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
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Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
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It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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