Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize