ya dads aren't the best wingmen
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
It's no shave November. This is our time.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
