week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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