It's a beautiful day for a hangover
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
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