Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize
