update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize