Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
