haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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