physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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