Plan B is the new Plan A
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
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