still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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