Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach