I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
23 Gruesome Scientific Facts That Will Make You Squirm
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Randomize
