I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.