Texts From Last Night

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  (310): View more from California

  Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire

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  (310): Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire http://tfl.nu/u3d6
  Replies (6) Good night (836) Bad night (1652)
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  (727): View more from Florida

  but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something

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  (727): but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something http://tfl.nu/beva
  Replies (14) Good night (820) Bad night (2370)
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  (647): View more from Ontario

  47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.

  (1-647): View more from Ontario

  Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?

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  (647): 47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over. (1-647): Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead? http://tfl.nu/n8gs
  Replies (57) Good night (1153) Bad night (5618)
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  (408): View more from California

  Maybe my heart is located in my vagina

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  (408): Maybe my heart is located in my vagina http://tfl.nu/huf2
  Replies (18) Good night (5373) Bad night (1272)
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  (905): View more from Ontario

  I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.

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  (905): I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation. http://tfl.nu/5c1o
  Replies (21) Good night (1195) Bad night (4198)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.

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  (615): Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span. http://tfl.nu/rd54
  Replies (36) Good night (6760) Bad night (1397)
• Favorite

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it

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  (603): my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it http://tfl.nu/xy2b
  Replies (3) Good night (2872) Bad night (1062)
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?

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  (413): dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions? http://tfl.nu/wa33
  Replies (23) Good night (2594) Bad night (619)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.

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  (303): We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates. http://tfl.nu/w536
  Replies (8) Good night (2740) Bad night (516)
• Favorite

  (845): View more from New York

  Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.

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  (845): Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent. http://tfl.nu/xb5q
  Replies (5) Good night (2158) Bad night (549)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.

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  (512): Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate. http://tfl.nu/mywp
  Replies (5) Good night (557) Bad night (413)
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?

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  (775): Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table? http://tfl.nu/vh5f
  Replies (1) Good night (837) Bad night (319)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.

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  (206): The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter. http://tfl.nu/rlxt
  Replies (5) Good night (908) Bad night (320)
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  (408): View more from California

  Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain

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  (408): Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain http://tfl.nu/bezg
  Replies (2) Good night (737) Bad night (316)
• Favorite

  (714): View more from California

  I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.

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  (714): I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too. http://tfl.nu/il0e
  Replies (2) Good night (573) Bad night (224)

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