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• (954): View more from Florida

  Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.

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• (207): View more from Maine

  I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring

  Fav 18 4817 1364

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• (818): View more from California

  I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.

  Fav 19 7278 1153

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• (203): View more from Connecticut

  It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.

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  19 Confessions From A Dude With A Micropenis

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• (541): View more from Oregon

  I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.

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• (937): View more from Ohio

  Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.

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• (816): View more from Missouri

  And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.

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• (630): View more from Illinois

  This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.

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• (513): View more from Ohio

  You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.

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  17 Exes Admit Why They Were Crazy In Their Past Relationship

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (715): View more from Wisconsin

  That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.

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• (360): View more from Washington

  Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.

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• (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.

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• (858): View more from California

  There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.

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• (954): View more from Florida

  I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.

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• (224): View more from Illinois

  How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?

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