Texts From Last Night

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  (253): View more from Washington

  I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.

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  (253): I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby. http://tfl.nu/itl7
  Replies (9) Good night (684) Bad night (2777)
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  (516): View more from New York

  Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.

  (1-516): View more from New York

  True life - we need to smoke together more often

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  (516): Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters. (1-516): True life - we need to smoke together more often http://tfl.nu/s2bm
  Replies (8) Good night (3976) Bad night (620)
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.

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  (608): sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself. http://tfl.nu/6c7w
  Replies (26) Good night (10117) Bad night (1779)
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes

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  (859): i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes http://tfl.nu/xf12
  Replies (19) Good night (995) Bad night (3643)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.

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  (440): I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body. http://tfl.nu/6n6i
  Replies (4) Good night (2109) Bad night (816)
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?

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  (613): Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots? http://tfl.nu/j4og
  Replies (6) Good night (2840) Bad night (943)
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  (914): View more from New York

  Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.

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  (914): Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face. http://tfl.nu/vgja
  Replies (12) Good night (3563) Bad night (1240)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G

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  (503): I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G http://tfl.nu/pzjk
  Replies (5) Good night (1819) Bad night (582)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.

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  (513): We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit. http://tfl.nu/qhz6
  Replies (2) Good night (2122) Bad night (605)
• Favorite

  (972): View more from Texas

  we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry

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  (972): we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry http://tfl.nu/ax9j
  Replies (8) Good night (546) Bad night (2208)
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  (910): View more from North Carolina

  Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn

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  (910): Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn http://tfl.nu/f45w
  Replies (1) Good night (694) Bad night (818)
• Favorite

  (616): View more from Michigan

  what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?

  (1-616): View more from Michigan

  i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.

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  (616): what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place? (1-616): i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day. http://tfl.nu/ba7u
  Replies (2) Good night (940) Bad night (311)
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.

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  (570): If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too. http://tfl.nu/6z8l
  Replies (4) Good night (440) Bad night (705)
• Favorite

  (805): View more from California

  The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s

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  (805): The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s http://tfl.nu/0nr9
  Replies (8) Good night (441) Bad night (325)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom

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  (248): Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom http://tfl.nu/b9b7
  Replies (1) Good night (368) Bad night (174)

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