Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.