Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Randomize
