btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.