Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
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You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
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I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
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