Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
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