i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
sex in a hospital.. check
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Randomize
