Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
