I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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