You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
