she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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