Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Congratulations! We have a period
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
