see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Randomize