he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
you never un-have a 4some
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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